Missing The Drama

So, I should be a senior in highschool this year. However, with two months left of my summer, the only thing I have to look forward to is another greuling quarter at the local community college. But that's great, right? Starting college early and all is a fantastic opportunity. Riiight.

Being seventeen and in college is nowhere near as fun as I thought it would be! It's hard work, and I'm having one hell of a time fitting in. Everybody is older. No big deal, I thought- age doesn't matter. And truly, it doesn't. Age is nothing but a number. However, at this point in my life, being surrounded by people who are older than myself, I suddenly feel very inexperienced. Someone very dear to me calls me a 'naive little writer'. I never really thought about it...it was just cute. But damn, does being in college at seventeen make me feel naive!

It's difficult too, to be myself and still try to be accepted. Most of my classmates don't know my age. I've always passed as being a little older than I am, so they assume I'm 19-20. But there are other problems with that, such as an inability to hang out with most people (men, especially) over 18. I don't mind, but they do, once they find out that I'm a minor. And while I'm not interested in romantic involvement, it puts a block on a lot of friendships, too.

Anyway, the summer is nearing an end, and I'm not at all looking forward to this quarter. I have one more biology class to take, and some philosophy and psychology classes that look interesting, as well as an ancient & medieval art class that looks fantastic. And yet, I'm going to miss my old friends, and the general drama of highschool!

I hated all that drama and nonsense while I was there, and never really got into any of it. It seemed pointless and immature. But being away from it all...I miss just being around the stupidity, even if I didn't partake (much!) in it. Sure, I'll be going back for my best friend's prom, but I don't get to see her every day like I used to either, and that's really irritating. I've just boughten my prom dress. I wish I was still around my old friends, though. It feels as though I should be worrying about dances and parties and SATs, and instead I've spent the last year worrying about passing college classes.

I guess some things just aren't all they're made out to be. But...this is an opportunity I couldn't pass up. This is my future I'm talking about. So I can't regret the decision to leave highschool two years early....right?

Let Us Go Where Time Stops

Let us go then, you and I,
When evening stretches onward
And the sun drops from the sky.

Let us go, through half-deserted streets,
Past cardboard restaurants
And cheap one-night hotels.

Let us go now, my love,
While the night lies, seductive, before us.
Before the day breaks, let us go.

Onward, ever onward let us go!
To that secret destination-
The paradise we’ve built.

And there indeed we will find time,
Time to prepare a smile for the faces that we meet,
Time to murder hate and time to love, create.

Time to escape from the world
To our infinite destiny- Fate!
Time to love, to laugh, in bliss to live.

There we will find time for you and time for me,
For a hundred million indecisions,
But ne’er a moment for a single doubt.

And indeed there will be time,
To wonder "Do I dare?" and "Do I dare?"
Time to turn and glance behind.

And time for indecisions and revisions
Which in only a minute will a minute reverse-
To ever-changing, ever-shifting confusion of the mind.

So let us go, quickly now, my beloved,
To the place where our dreams are made.
Let us go, together, as one, for now the night grows late.

For there we shall find the time we need,
And hold the very seeds of forever in our hands
To twist and manipulate as we so please.

Let us go, while watching eyes remain closed in sleep,
To steal away to our hidden, secret place-
That shelter which we keep, where our love was born.

Let us go now, beloved,
For only in eternity can we find the purest joy,
And only when we go there shall our love truly flourish.

Musical Therapy

So, I helped a friend move out of her house yesterday. There was a lot of cleaning and packing involved...the usual strenuous last-day-to-move-out.

And yet, in a house with no A/C, sweating and practically dying of heat and fatigue, I still had fun. Why? Because I'm a little insane... haha. Well that's beside the point. :-) But it was because of music, I think. I had my headphones on the entire time, rockin' out and having a great time, despite the discomfort and stress of the day's activities.

A little later that same day, I ran down to the corner store to buy drinks for everyone- with their own money, of course! :-) Through three alleys and two parking lots, I danced, with my mp3 player up as loud as it goes. When, in my old sandals, I tripped, I simply laughed and kept on dancing. When I got to the convenience store, I didn't notice the woman behind the counter. She was Indian...and so small and quiet that she was almost unnoticable. Anyway, I can only imagine what she was thinking when -believing I was alone- I came dancing (badly!) into her store. She looked at me like I was nuts, and proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at my embarrassment. I agree, it was funny!

There's a point to all of this nonsense- that music is a medicine for the soul. I mean, think about it. Your mood often reflects what you listen to. And listening to a catchy, happy tune can put nearly anyone in a good mood. Music works wonders. It certainly keeps my from fighting with my dad so much, when I've been listening to something good recently. Furthermore, music can bring about a sense of nostalgia. I remember every song I've been shared from those closest to me, and hearing them always makes me smile. It's a trip down memory lane to listen to some of them, and a select few are tangled up with SO many emotions...

In closing, music can work wonders for a person's attitude and demeanor. I think we ought to be allowing music more in schools and workplaces. Let 'em keep the headphones on! It may just lead to less bickering and irritable coworkers!

Reaching For Stars

I seek to change the world.

A bold statement, yes. Can one change the world? Perhaps. After all, we all live in this world. To change or affect one individual's life is to, in a sense, change a little bit of the world.

So, through my writing, I want to change something. Leave an impression behind me. Make people think. Perhaps I will not go far. I understand this, but I do not accept it. I believe I can change the world, one page at a time, one word at a time.

The dreamers of today are the faces of tomorrow. How we live will effect our lives, and the lives of our children, and our children's children. So let's not be afraid to dream a little. What is it they say? "Shoot for the moon; even if you fall short, you'll land among the stars." To me, this simply means to reach for your dreams. Who knows? We just might make it.

I'm just another writer, just another dream among millions. And if I don't succeed, so be it. I will have lived my life doing what I love best- writing. Anyone else with me? Let's create tomorrow together.